Alfred Hawthorne Hill, known by his stage name Benny Hill (21 January 1924 – 20 April 1992), was an English comedian and actor, notable for his long-running television programme The Benny Hill Show. Read full biography of Benny Hill →
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and... →
Do unto others, then run.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut... →
That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.
Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.