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77 quotes by Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Erma Bombeck Born Erma Louise Fiste (1927-02-21)February 21, 1927 Bellbrook, Ohio, U.S. Died April 22, 1996(1996-04-22) (aged 69) San Francisco, California, U.S. Occupation Humorist, syndicated columnist, writer Nationality American Citizenship United States Education University of Dayton Period 1965 to 1996 Spouse Bill Bombeck Children Betsy, Andrew, Matthew Erma Louise Bombeck (née Fiste; February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996)...
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything... →

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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're... →

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For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's... →

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Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are... →

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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

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Never have more children than you have car windows.

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Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why... →

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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give... →

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