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38 quotes by Garrison Keillor

Gary Edward "Garrison" Keillor (born August 7, 1942) is an American author, storyteller, humorist, and radio personality. He is known as host of the Minnesota Public Radio show A Prairie Home Companion (also known as Garrison Keillor's Radio Show on United Kingdom's BBC Radio 4 Extra, as well as on RTÉ in Ireland, Australia's ABC, and Radio New Zealand National in New Zealand).
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Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three... →

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The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the... →

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Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

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Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is... →

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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking... →

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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

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Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

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It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the... →

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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for... →

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I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline... →

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