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74 quotes by J. B. Smoove

J. B. Smoove Smoove at the NBCUniversal Summer press day in April 2014 Born Jerry Angelo Brooks (1965-12-16) December 16, 1965 (age 49) Plymouth, North Carolina, U.S. Occupation Actor, comedian, writer Spouse(s) Shahidah Omar (2007–present) Children Daughter Jerrica Brooks Jerry Angelo Brooks (born December 16, 1965), better known as JB Smoove, is an American actor, writer, and stand-up comedian who began his TV career on Russell Simmons's...
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I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.

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I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when... →

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You buy a new iPhone, a few months later, another new iPhone comes out, and you get online to buy another one. You can't get enough. You are... →

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My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.

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I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate... →

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When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work... →

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I'm on my version of the protein diet, but there ain't no protein in it. It's a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak... →

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I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me.

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When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

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I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. They all call me The Thief.

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Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.

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My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing.

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You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger.

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