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21 quotes by Jasper Carrott

Jasper Carrott Carrott in 2006 Birth name Robert Norman Davis Born (1945-03-14) 14 March 1945 (age 69) Acocks Green, Birmingham, England Medium Stand-up, television, game show host Years active 1973–2005 (singer) 1975–present (comedian) Spouse Hazel Jackson (1973–present) Children Lucy Davis Jenny Davis Hannah Davis Jake Davis Website JasperCarrott.com Jasper Carrott, the stage name of Robert Norman Davis OBE (born 14 March 1945), is an...
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Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

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I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as... →

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There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

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I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands... →

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Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

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I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.

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I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

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When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are... →

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I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

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I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

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I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started... →

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I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in... →

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There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you... →

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