Disable ads!

30 quotes by Jimmy Carr

James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carr (born 15 September 1972) is an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel...
Read full biography of Jimmy Carr →

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, but in a properly big and important way. My perfect weekend would start with a pint of... →

0

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

0

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a... →

0

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality... →

0

The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.

0

I don't see myself as offending people.

0

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

0

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

0

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

0

I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.

0

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

0

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.

0

After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show... →

0
Add a quote!
Background photo by Giuliana