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There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
Politeness is half good manners and half good lying.
He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.
Politeness is only one half good manners and the other half good lying.
A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.
It is difficult to see why lace should be so expensive; it is mostly holes.
The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.
If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.
In some parts of Ireland the sleep which knows no waking is always followed by a wake which knows no sleeping.
The penalty of success is to be bored by the attentions of people who formerly snubbed you.
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