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71 quotes by Rita Rudner

This biographical article needs additional citations for verification. Please help by adding reliable sources. Contentious material about living persons that is unsourced or poorly sourced must be removed immediately, especially if potentially libelous or harmful. (October 2013) Rita Rudner Rita Rudner in August 2011 Born (1953-09-17) September 17, 1953 (age 61) Miami, Florida, United States Medium Comedy Nationality American Years active...
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

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It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really... →

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Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

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It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

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