Disable ads!

12 quotes by Tommy Cooper

Tommy Cooper Born Thomas Frederick Cooper (1921-03-19)19 March 1921 Caerphilly, Glamorgan, Wales, UK Died 15 April 1984(1984-04-15) (aged 63) Her Majesty's Theatre, London, England, UK Cause of death Heart attack Resting place Mortlake Crematorium Occupation Prop comedian, comedian, magician Years active 1948–1984 Spouse(s) Gwen Henty (1947–1984) Partner(s) Mary Fieldhouse (1967–1984) Children Victoria Thomas Henty (deceased)...
Read full biography of Tommy Cooper →

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second... →

0

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into... →

0

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

0

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out:... →

0

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your... →

0

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

0

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.

0

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

0

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

0

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up... →

0

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.

0

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

0
Add a quote!
Background photo by Giuliana