Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you... →
Steven Wright
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road.... →
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a... →
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.
Comedians are sociologists. We're pointing out stuff that the general public doesn't even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion... →
You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my... →
The things of Catholic life are never boring because we have such a rich tradition and so many stories to tell.
Donald Wuerl
Children need to have a home. I don't mean a physical four walls and a room. There needs to be an emotional and spiritual and loving place in... →
You were part of a parish life. It was a great community to grow up in. I just was impressed by our parish priests. After a while, I began to think... →