Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.
Eric Carr
You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.
Art Donovan
You can flush my ashes down the toilet, for all I care.
Carolyn Gold Heilbrun
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
Jay Leno
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.
Richard M. Nixon
Where do you get lumpy tiles? Well, of course, you don't. But I get a lot of toilets, and so you just dispatch a toilet with a hammer, and then... →
Dan Phillips
Don't get married in a house where there is no toilet.
Jairam Ramesh
I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that's like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell.
David Reuben
It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.
Uma Thurman
The Pacific is the best toilet for satellites.
Neil deGrasse Tyson