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46 quotes by Zach Galifianakis

Zachary Knight "Zach" Galifianakis (/ˌɡælɨfəˈnækɨs/ GAL-i-fə-NAK-iss; born October 1, 1969) is an American stand-up comedian and actor, known for his television appearance in his own Comedy Central Presents special. He also starred in films, such as The Hangover trilogy (2009-2013), Due Date (2010), The Campaign (2012) and Birdman (2014).
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I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years... →

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Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

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My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad... →

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I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a... →

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I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.

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My forte is awkwardness.

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I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.

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I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.

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That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't... →

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I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.

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It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me.' Being popular is poison.

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You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on... →

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When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that... →

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