Unfortunately, information about the author is unknown to us. But you can add it. Read full biography of Alan King →
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I... →
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
Museums are good things, places to look and absorb and learn.
Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for a priest, after declaring to his astonished relatives that 'I want to... →
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our marriage, she broiled lamb chops 26 nights... →
I can't stay friends with anyone who doesn't have a passion for something; and, generally speaking, artistic people, creative people carry it... →
Smoked salmon is for dinner. Belly lox is for breakfast. Don't get that mixed up.
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
Unfortunately, information about the author is unknown to us. But you can