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23 quotes by Rob Delaney

MLB debut September 4, 2010 for the Minnesota Twins Career statistics (through 2011 Season) Win–loss record 0–0 Earned run average 10.50 Strikeouts 3 Teams Minnesota Twins (2010) Tampa Bay Rays (2011) Robert Delaney (born September 8, 1984) is an American professional baseball pitcher who is a free agent. He has pitched for the Minnesota Twins and the Tampa Bay Rays at the major-league level. He pitches right-handed and bats...
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I'm crazy about Shakespeare, who was a notorious word inventor. And my wife is an English teacher, and she's hilarious.

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On stage, I'm me. I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a guy, I'm a mess - but I am a cohesive thing that you recognize as one human... →

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Depression taught me the importance of compassion and hard work, and that you can overcome enormous obstacles.

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I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a room and smell the audience - and I love that!

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In real life, I am alarmingly boring.

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Politicians, it's in their job description to just lie, every day.

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Well, Mitt Romney is a very attractive comedic target. He's irresistible to me. I mean, seriously, I want to pay less attention to him.

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I had always loved comedy, and acted out Steve Martin and Bill Cosby albums with my sister for my parents on road trips and stuff, and I loved to... →

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It's hard for me to get embarrassed, but the things that do embarrass me would be if anybody ever heard my wife and I talking in our robust... →

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The best thing you can do when you're not feeling funny is go out and get more stimuli from the world, get out and walk around, read a book, go... →

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It makes me sad that corporations and media and Hollywood conspire to make people feel terrible about their bodies from the second they wake up ,so I... →

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I hate wearing suits and ties.

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I want people to feel good about themselves.

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