It's funny to be discovered by a lot of people who didn't know you before. People always used to say, 'Do you shop at Home Depot?' or... →
Terry O'Quinn
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O'Rourke
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
Never fight an inanimate object.
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one... →
A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the... →
I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and... →
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a... →
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.