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In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.