My wife is my soul mate. I can't imagine being without her.
Matt Damon
Now that I have kids, I'm probably more overprotective than I've ever been. My wife's nickname for me is 'red alert.' I sometimes... →
It's better when you have your wife with you, more fun.
Evan Dando
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a... →
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep... →
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.