My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
My most annoying habit is complaining about my aches and pains. It's the new ones that I haven't identified yet that make me nervous.... →
Ted Danson
There are certain times I don't want my picture taken. If my wife's stepping out of a car and it looks like it's going to come out an... →
Bobby Darin
If I win, I'll take my wife and buy her a whole new wardrobe. If she's happy then I'll be happy.
Chris Daughtry